2006-11-14

Redemptive Suffering

I've just finished reading Pope John Paul's Salvifici Doloris (On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering) but, for some reason, found it a bit unsettling and ultimately unsatisfying. Yes, lots of good stuff there but... So ... I looked elsewhere ... And, lo and behold, as though a bolt from heaven, I read the following entries in St Faustina's absolutely wonderful Diary: 342. Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it purifies the soul. In suffering we learn who is our true friend. 343. True love is measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavours, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretations of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God Himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
December 20, 1934.

No comments: